hardware
World's okayest hardware enthusiast.
I press buttons so you don't have to.
Who Am I
I'm someone who owns three screwdrivers and considers that a personality. My relationship with technology is best described as "aggressively curious with occasional success." I've never met a settings panel I didn't immediately break, and I approach every hardware problem with the unwavering confidence of someone who has watched exactly one YouTube tutorial.
My friends call me when their Wi-Fi stops working. I call them when my Wi-Fi stops working. We are all equally useless. This website is a monument to that energy.
Hobbies
Competitive Idle-Monitoring
I watch my CPU temperature like a hawk watches a field mouse. 62°C? Panic. 58°C? Pure bliss. I have a spreadsheet.
Keyboard Switch Sniffing
I can identify a Cherry MX Blue by scent alone. Browns smell like regret. Reds smell like nothing, which is exactly the problem.
Professional Bug-Hunting (The Bad Kind)
I don't squash bugs. I befriend them, learn their life stories, and then accidentally introduce three more while trying to fix the first one.
USB Insertion (First Try Division)
After 12 years of training, I have achieved a 74% first-try USB insertion rate. The other 26% keeps me humble.
Retro Gaming (Mostly the Config)
I spend 4 hours configuring emulators for every 15 minutes of actual gameplay. This is not a problem. I can stop anytime.
Disk Defrag ASMR
There is nothing more soothing than the sound of a hard drive doing its thing at 3 AM. Defragging is my lullaby.
Certifications
Fun Facts
Has successfully turned it off and on again 47,000+ times. Never gets old.
Can identify 15 different beep codes by ear. Code 5 short = 'you forgot to plug in the monitor again, genius'.
Once spent 6 hours troubleshooting a network issue. The cable was unplugged.
Favorite color is #00ff00. Yes, the hex code.
Has a 4000-word manifesto on why USB-C is both the best and worst thing to happen to humanity.
Types at 120 WPM but spends 80% of that typing 'why is this not working' into search bars.
Today's Hardware Tip
Not sure what's wrong with your device? Hit the button. I promise this advice is at least 40% helpful.
Find Me
I operate entirely through vibes. If you need me, try shouting "has anyone seen the screwdriver" into the void. I'll turn up eventually, usually carrying the wrong screwdriver.